It's true- its tiring, really.
I'm tired of battling with my inner demons. I'm tired of feeling sad all the time, feeling worthless, feeling useless.
They say 'Stop cutting yourself short. Have some confidence'- how can I? Seriously, tell me how.
These people with confidence, I envy them. I've always wanted to be one of them- confident, sexy, sophisticated, elegant-criterias that I can never have. Not until I fight all these feelings I never wanted. But it's so hard, so so hard to overcome these feelings. It will always resurface, it will always come back. It will always be there, at the very deep back of your damn mind, and it will never go away.
I just want to be happy. Is that too much to ask for?
Be positive, they say. I did. I really did, but it will never be enough.
Some people ask me why at the age of 19, there's still no boyfriend around.
The thing is, how can I love someone else when I can't even love myself? How can I be with someone, if I myself am a damn mess? How can I stick with someone when I cant even fix myself? How can I love someone when I don't feel I'm good enough for anyone? Who would stick and fight for me anyway? Who can handle my damn issues? Who can even stay with me for the long haul, with my messed up emotions? I don't think anyone can, honestly.
I'm a huge mess- I can't even fix myself, how can somebody else will?
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